Draw My Life – My High School Journey

I am not the person I was
when I was in high school.
I’m about to share some
very intimate stories,
how I got held up, how I
fought with my father so bad
that he almost stopped talking to me.
We’re talking about it all,
high school stories start now.
Peewoop!
To say that I wasn’t
very popular grades first
through eight, is an understatement.
I was kind of the geeky, nerdy, silly guy and I wanted to change that going into high school.
I’m gonna be the strong, silent type. I attracted the attention of a few girls. I was like, “Oh wow, look, girls are interested in me.”
I would go to see them
by either taking the bus
or rollerblading to them.
I don’t know what my obsession
with rollerblading was.
I would literally go to their homes and like sit out on their stoops while I was showing them
my rollerblading tricks.
I was a complete loser
even though I was trying to look cool. I got some attention
and then it was starting
to trail off, because I really wasn’t the
person I was painting myself out
to be, like, I remember bringing girls to my house for the first time and showing them my house. And it was the first home I ever lived in. ‘Cause before that we had a tiny, welfare-esque apartment that I lived in growing up. And the way that my dad
would give the tour,
he would highlight all
these little details
’cause he was so proud of it.
It was his first property in America. I ended up doing the same thing to girls who grew up in Staten Island who always had homes that looked exactly like this. So they were like, “Oh
cool, so you have a room?
Nice, you weirdo.”
So again, I was starting to not be cool. And I realized maybe I could buy my way into being cool. And I had some money
saved up from some jobs
that I used to do. I used to do odd jobs all the time. During that first Christmas holiday time
in my freshman year of high school, I said, “I’m gonna make a list of everyone
in my class, write everyone’s names on a piece of paper, pass it around and allow them to write what they want me
to buy them for Christmas.”
I ended up buying people Jets memorabilia, pencils, school supplies. People were like,
“You’re weird Mike, why
are you doing this?”
I’m like, “Just ’cause I’m so wealthy.” Not wealthy at all, poor, my family barely has any money. We spent all our money on this house and my dad was telling me how much we have to save. And here I was going to
Modell’s Sporting Goods
and buying people hats and all this stuff. Looking back at it, to
think that’s the way
that I thought you needed
to win people over, is
really weird and depressing.
So even though I wanted to
make my reputation better
in terms of meeting a potential girlfriend in high school, I was striking out a lot in that department. There were some girls who liked me
but I also had really low
self-esteem and confidence
and that wasn’t helping anybody. Junior year, I kind of started getting more attention.
I was starting to put
on a little bit of
muscle, working out more,
getting a little bit more attention. I think I went on a few
dates to movie theaters
and kissed a few girls and
then right away, got mono.
So that was super disappointing.
There was some bad times.
I remember in one of the SAT classes, there was a girl, I thought she was really pretty.
Her name was Sophie.
I would go to SAT class
there on Saturdays.
I would actually take the train home with her, walk her home,
we kissed a few times.
And I thought I was dating her.
After a few weeks of that going on and telling my best friend/brother
Alex about it, he was
in that same SAT class,
different day of the week.
And he met someone who
went to her high school.
He was talking to them
and they’re like, “Oh I know this person from your school in Brooklyn.”
He’s like, “Oh, I know some
people from Toddville.”
They said, “Who?”
He goes, “Oh, I know Sophie.”
He goes, “Oh, you know Sophie?
How do you know Sophie?”
He’s like, “Oh, I’m best
friends with her boyfriend.”
And they’re like, “Mark?”
And he’s like, “Mike.”
And they’re like, “Mark?”
He’s like, “Mike.”
They’re like, “Maybe, different Sophie.”
And they agreed to disagree.
And right away, he called
me and told me that
that was going on.
And what ended up happening
was she was dating some guy
in her high school and kind
of seeing me on the side
which I was heartbroken over.
So that was pretty sad.

You’re tearing me apart, Sophie.” Because I would always
rollerblade everywhere
or take the bus everywhere,
I couldn’t rollerblade to school.
So I would take the bus to
school or the train to school.
And what I quickly realised was kids that caused some trouble,
sat on the back of the bus
and they would bully the people who sat
at the front of the bus.
They would throw papers at them.
They would call them names.
They would yell at them, whatever it was.
I knew that I had to figure
out this situation really quickly.
So I was like as a person
who was a chameleon
and that’s what I prided myself on,
I remember I would raise my hand
and be like, “I’m a chameleon,”
if that was my spirit animal.
I needed to fit in.
So I remember early on
recognizing this pattern
of who sat where, I put on
some really baggy clothes.
And I was like, “This was my new style.”
And when I went in to sit in
the bus, instead of sitting
in the front, I kind of sat in
the middle, towards the back.
And I would like dap ’em up.
I was like, “Yo, what up, what up?”
As if I knew some of them.
No one ever bothered me.
In fact, after sitting there
for so long, I started getting street cred
from the other kids that sat
on the back, so much so
that when they would pick
on someone in the front and I knew them and they were in my nerdy class with me, I would say like, “Oh, don’t pick
on them because they’re so small, you’re gonna beat them up.”
But I always had to
figure out this unique way
of dealing with different personalities.
A story that I probably only told
to my close friends was,
whenever I was the captain
of the soccer team, junior
or senior year, I would
constantly see the other kids
on the team cutting class
or being in the hallways.
And I knew that if they were
to get caught they would
potentially get banned
from missing a game or
something like that.
So if I would see them
in the hallway, I’d be
like, “Yo, go to class.
What are you doing?
You’re gonna miss a game, we need you.
You’re our star player, get to class.”
And I remember seeing one of the guys
and I came up to him and joking around,
pushing him, being all macho
and being like, “Yo get to class.”
And he’s like,
“I’m not going to class
right now, I’m chilling.”
And I’m like, “Come on, go to class.”
I jokingly pushed him
and then he grabbed me
and put me against the wall.
And we would do stuff like
this all the time as a joke.
And I’m like, “No, no, no,
seriously, go to class.”
He takes out one of those
little guns, literally a gun
and is like, “You really
wanna mess around?”
He wasn’t actually threatening me.
This was our play, but he’s
having a gun, pointing at me.
And the only thing
that I can do is again,
chameleon Mike came out
and I was like, “Yo, put that away.
You’re gonna get in trouble,
forget about soccer season.
You’re gonna get kicked
outta school, put it away.”
He’s like, “Word you’re right.”
And he put it away into
his pocket and left
and went back to class.
Thinking back now
as an adult, not a 15-year-old
or 16-year-old boy, probably
should have reported
that to somebody.
Then again, there was instances of knives
and guns being brandished
across the school quite often,
if you were in the school
and you saw what was going on around you.
So it was a difficult environment to navigate.
And luckily, I had the
skills to figure out how
to do it, but that actually had
bit me in the butt one time.
I remember during high school
towards the end of high
school, I was walking with my brother/best friend, Alex.
And we were walking with a
couple of girls late night
around midnight on Hylan Boulevard which is one of the main streets in Staten Island.
And we were walking back home
I think from a bowling
alley, as corny as it sounds.
And I remember one of
the girls had a phone,
it was a flip phone and it had a battery.
And the battery was one of
those batteries that lit up.
You probably don’t even
know what I’m talking about
but it was like this battery that lit up.
And all of a sudden, we see
a car slowly tailing us.
And it was weird ’cause
that’s the area where
cars drive by pretty fast.
And I didn’t even realize
’cause I was walking
in front with one of the
girls, the other girl’s behind
with Alex, guys jumped out of
the car and approached Alex.
I think it was like Alex’s birthdays.
And his grandparents gave him a wad of cash, 150, 200 bucks or something.
He had that in his back pocket
and I thought Mr. chameleon
can solve everything
with his conversational skills.
And that he’s cool in his high school, that I can go up to these guys and be like,
“Yo, yo, yo, chill, chill,
chill, chill, everything’s good.”
And they were like, “Chill, chill, chill?”
So they drop Alex and now go
to me and tell me to empty my pockets.
And I thought I was smooth again.
I knew my cell phone.
I had a Samsung little flip phone was in my pocket in my jeans.
I was wearing a big spider jacket.
I don’t know if it’s like
a North Face-esque jacket
with pockets in here and here.
And I was like, “I don’t got
nothing, check my pockets.”
And they checked my jacket pockets and they truly saw I had nothing.
And then one of the guys,
as the three were standing
in front of me, reaches into my pocket and starts taking out my phone.
I shove him.
Other guy reaches into his
pocket, grabs something.
I think it’s a knife.
They jump into the car and run away.
So all in all, we only lost
a cheap Samsung cell phone.
It could have been a lot worse.
I learned my lesson.
You need not intervene in every situation.
Maybe call for help, sometimes.
So while defending my
friends was something I liked
to do, I needed to become more selective in what I was doing.
And high school is also where I kind of started “becoming a
man,” quote, unquote.
My father growing up,
was very strict, strict
with education, whatever
it is you wanted to do.
You wanna go with your friends?
You wanna stay out real late, two rules, do good in school and have your cell phone/beeper.
If you follow those two rules,
you could do whatever you want.
If you were crushing it
in school, stay out late with your friends.
The one time and the first time we really butted heads was
over my first romance, my first girlfriend that was very serious
in high school going into college
because, he was anti-sleeping
over someone’s house.
He let me sleep over my neighbor’s house
or my best friend/brother’s house.
But a girl’s house was a no-no.
I don’t know what it was in his head whether he thought pregnancy was a risk,
he thought I was gonna get married and run away.
I don’t know what his fear was.
He never established it with me.
But he had a firm rule, no sleepovers.
And I remember it was
like Valentine’s day.
I don’t remember what year,
probably senior year of high school.
And he’s like, “You’re
not sleeping over there.”
And I’m like, “No, no, I’ll be
home whenever I’ll be home.”
He’s like, “No, no, no,
you’re gonna come home.
You’re not sleeping there.”
And we got into an argument
and we’re sitting there arguing
and I never hung up on my dad,
that was like a no-no.
And after arguing with
him for 10, 15 minutes
I was like, “I’m a man.”
And I hung up on my dad
and I was so scared.
I was like, “Oh my God, I just hung up
on my dad for the first time in my life.”
He calls back, I ignore.
He calls back, I ignore.
And this has never happened.
I’ve never been a rebellious kid.
I would always be like, “Yes, Dad.
I’m sorry, please don’t
yell at me, don’t hit me.”
And at that time,
I was like, “No, there
should be no reason.
This is unfair, unjust.
I deserve to be able, I do good in school.
I wanna sleep at my girlfriend’s house.”
He got so mad that I hung up with him.
He’s like,
“You’re really gonna destroy
our relationship over this?”
And I’m like, “No, you’re destroying it!”
I turned it back on him.
And he’s like, “You can
come home whenever you want
but you’re not allowed to sleep there.”
I’m like, “Are you saying
I can come home at 6:00 AM
and that’s okay by you as
long as I don’t sleep here?”
He goes, “Yes.”
And I don’t know if this
is him saving like dignity
by saying he kind of won.
What do we do?
We hung out till one, 2:00
AM, slept for three hours
and then I had to wake up
at 5:00 AM to come home.
No idea why my dad needed
to die on that hill
but he definitely died on it.